Knowing Myself

For the most part of my life I was a full-time  home maker taking care of my son as we made a big move coming from India, till we settled down in USA.  When my son entered Kindergarten, it was full-time for him at school.

It gave me the opportunity to start learning to do Income tax at H&R Block since I had the accounting back ground and, I had a lot of time in my hand’s when my son went to school, so I started working with them on a part-time basis. The best part of being a tax preparer was that I would be busy when he was in school and be available to him when he was at home. When I decided  to pursue something full-time, I wanted to try my hand at the business since I had an MBA. I decide on getting a Franchise with the one of the top three tax preparation companies.

 

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Having the  business along with bring up my son kept me busy for about 7 yrs. After he started high school, I did not want to miss out on the 4 yrs of high school time I would get with him, I decided to sell my Tax Preparation business .  I wanted to  focus on spending the time helping my son achieve  his dream.  Which I enjoyed every single day. I developed a beautiful bond with my son. He was happy seeing me waiting for him everyday when he would return back from school .Time goes by quickly and the shocking reality of sending your child to college was looming around the corner.

Four year’s of high school went by quickly, I can tell that today, but it was not so at that time. My Son had to put in a lot of hard work and long hours, As a family we were along with him every step of the way, all the time, giving him the motivation he need to go on.

Finally the day came when he graduated from high school and was ready to go to Georgia Tech. You know how it feels when your kid becomes the adult and you feel like a child, when something which is very dear to you is taken away from you and u don’t want to let it go. That is how I felt.

Suddenly I would feel that I had no purpose in life, waking up in the morning had no meaning and not knowing what to look forward too. As if suddenly the life which was revolving around my kid had come to a sudden halt.

First six month I tried spending time travelling back and forth to India, reading a lot of books, binge watching show’s on Netflix. Trying to fill the void. Trying to prove to myself I was busy with the things I have started doing. But then something kept nagging me through out. The nagging was only intensifying every day.

I have always wanted to write, but had some kind of an inhibition , since English was not my first language, I felt that I could never write something others would want to read. I felt I had a lot of things I wanted to share with other’s but would not do because I was scared. I had started this blog page through word press in the year 2010, but due to my fear of language and being so busy with life , I never even gave it a try. I have missed on sharing so many events and wonderful things. But I have decided on making up for that, by blogging through the same blog site, I started years ago.

When you keep postponing and stuffing things down, you know you want to do, over and over again and one day when you let it lose, you would feel a sudden rush of activities happening, that is how I felt the first week of blogging, I could not sleep, because words and thoughts were constantly flying around in my head. Then I decided, I should start making a list of things I want to write about on my blog.